WashU Expert: Chapman offers advice for … the First Dog?

Disregard the late-night howlers, and be wary of rattling that large cage


Richard Chapman, senior lecturer in film and media studies in Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, is a veteran screenwriter and producer from his days in television and film. He offers advice to an animal that doesn’t yet exist because, at last reporting, the Trumps own no pets:

“I know things are tough at the shelter, but hang in there. Pretty soon some young golden retriever will come bounding into Kellyanne’s office with the iconic quote from Harry Truman: ‘If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.’ And since every dog has his day, let’s hope you’re frolicking on the South Lawn in the First Hundred. So here are a few tips:

  • “Don’t overreact to sound bites. It’s OK to bite back, but sometimes a vicious snarl will keep those press hounds at bay.
  • “Don’t be distracted by all the tweets. I know you’ve got some bird dog in you, but stay focused in that Rose Garden. And when they go low, you jump high. Grab some air and you’ll have it all over those other little First Mutts like FDR’s Fala and Bush’s Bernie.
  • “Ignore the late-night howls of Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers. Oh sure, they’ll make jokes about your fur and coloring, saying how masters always look like their dogs. Ignore it, they’re fake jokes.
  • “Lastly, quit cozying up to that Russian Wolfhound in the next cage. Her bite is worse than her bark.”

Read more “First 100 Days” messages at Election2016.wustl.edu.

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