A man of many talents, actor, author, director and screenwriter B. J. Novak is best known for his role as Ryan Howard, the intern, on “The Office,” a show which he wrote, directed and produced.
But Novak, who appeared on the Washington University in St. Louis campus Feb. 17 in Graham Chapel, is also a killer comedian. The event was sponsored by the Social Programming Board. In it, Novak took questions from students, read excerpts from his book, “One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories” and shared favorite memories from “The Office.”
In case you missed it, here are five jokes that made the venue echo in laughter:
- “You know when you’re out with a girl and you can tell she doesn’t want it to be a date because she insists on paying for half? I’m always like ‘Uhh no, I’ve looked forward to this all week, I got all dressed up, and I psyched myself up, and I got through all kinds of things because I knew I was going on a date with you at the end of the week, and now you’re telling me it wasn’t a date? Uhh, you’re paying the whole thing.’”
- “I dropped my girlfriend off at the airport on Sunday. I’ll pick her up when she calms down.”
- “My friends call me Mr. Compromise. It wasn’t my first choice for a nickname. But I can live with it.”
- “I hate that phrase ‘wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ They say that about anyone you’d feel safe around. ‘Oh he wouldn’t hurt a fly, she wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ Uhh, yeah. Of course not. Nobody would hurt a fly. I’d kill a fly. But what kind of sick (jerk) would hurt a fly? ‘No really, I don’t want to hurt it. I just want it to feel pain.’”
- “I used to sponsor an orphan. I did. I used to sponsor an orphan in South America. Until I saw on TV, that, for the same cost, I could buy myself a cup of coffee every day.”