B. J. Novak brings his standup to Graham Chapel

B. J. Novak performs
B. J. Novak performs at Graham Chapel. (Photo: Courtesy of Holly Ravazzolo/Student Life)

A man of many talents, actor, author, director and screenwriter B. J. Novak is best known for his role as Ryan Howard, the intern, on “The Office,” a show which he wrote, directed and produced.

But Novak, who appeared on the Washington University in St. Louis campus Feb. 17 in Graham Chapel, is also a killer comedian. The event was sponsored by the Social Programming Board. In it, Novak took questions from students, read excerpts from his book, “One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories” and shared favorite memories from “The Office.”

In case you missed it, here are five jokes that made the venue echo in laughter:

  • “You know when you’re out with a girl and you can tell she doesn’t want it to be a date because she insists on paying for half? I’m always like ‘Uhh no, I’ve looked forward to this all week, I got all dressed up, and I psyched myself up, and I got through all kinds of things because I knew I was going on a date with you at the end of the week, and now you’re telling me it wasn’t a date? Uhh, you’re paying the whole thing.’”
  • “I dropped my girlfriend off at the airport on Sunday. I’ll pick her up when she calms down.”
  • “My friends call me Mr. Compromise. It wasn’t my first choice for a nickname. But I can live with it.”
  • “I hate that phrase ‘wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ They say that about anyone you’d feel safe around. ‘Oh he wouldn’t hurt a fly, she wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ Uhh, yeah. Of course not. Nobody would hurt a fly. I’d kill a fly. But what kind of sick (jerk) would hurt a fly? ‘No really, I don’t want to hurt it. I just want it to feel pain.’”
  • “I used to sponsor an orphan. I did. I used to sponsor an orphan in South America. Until I saw on TV, that, for the same cost, I could buy myself a cup of coffee every day.”

Comments and respectful dialogue are encouraged, but content will be moderated. Please, no personal attacks, obscenity or profanity, selling of commercial products, or endorsements of political candidates or positions. We reserve the right to remove any inappropriate comments. We also cannot address individual medical concerns or provide medical advice in this forum.